I was talking to a good friend who’s in a blossoming yet struggling relationship, and one of the challenges she’s facing is one we’ve all probably faced:
Verb, past tense. When you see that someone has read a message but they haven’t responded. There are many degrees of being seen zoned, depending on such factors as:
- time (this boy hasn’t responded in a day/afternoon/hour/minute!!!)
- other social media activities (omg this boy is like totally posting stories but hasn’t responded to my dm so like why is he ignoring meeeeee)
- your own busyness/state of mind (gurl, i’m out at the club so i ain’t even noticing VS GURL I’M HOME ALL DAY AND THIS BOY ISN’T RESPONDINGGGGG)
No matter which flavor of seen zone you have regrettably tasted, it is not a pleasant experience. It adds to anxiety, stress, and just plain old overthinking. So what’s the solution? Well from the recipient’s standpoint, it’s easier said than done: DON’T OVERTHINK. Who knows what’s going on with the other person. We have no control over them at the end of the day, so why stress about it?
But that’s actually not the reason for this post. The solution I want to talk about is MINDFULNESS, and this is actually more for the person causing the “seen zoning,” ie the person who read/saw the message but didn’t respond. In a nutshell, DON’T READ YOUR MESSAGES IF YOU DON’T HAVE TIME TO RESPOND. Don’t check your emails constantly throughout the day like a bad habit, only to be too busy to respond properly at the time (which leads to an inbox full of “read” but “starred” messages lol). Wait for the moment when you can focus, read, and respond to the message. BE FUCKING PRESENT. Stop multitasking and focus on the task at hand. If you don’t have time to respond, just ignore it for the time being and come back to it when you can. THE WORLDS NOT GONNA END IF YOU DON’T OPEN THAT TEXT. The more we can practice these simple habits of mindfulness, the more clarity we can create in our interactions with others.